I cannot flee your presence - despite my best efforts (Psalm 139:7)

"Where shall I go from your Spirit?
Or where shall I flee from your presence?" - Psalm 139:7

Remember how Adam and Eve thought they could hide in the garden? Or what about Jonah who thought he could flee by boat?

I was trying to think of ways I've done this, if I've ever tried to flee from his presence, and then it occurred to me. I'm embarrassed to say, but I play like a little kid would play hide and seek. I simply turn away for a bit and hope he does the same, "If I can't see you, you can't see me."

This is supposed to be a great promise and I'm convinced it is. But sad that I can look at it and think, "What a great promise. But man, I totally wish I could get away sometimes."

I'm alone without my wife for 4 more days, and it's rough. But there is something freeing about knowing no one is there to ask where I am throughout the day. We do talk 3 times a day on the phone, but its different than reporting where I'm going as I walk out the door. Somehow it feels like I'm free, like I can go and do whatever I want.

For the most part it's good, but there's a little bit of me that wants to sin while no one is looking. But then I remember this.

Funny how a program like Covenant Eyes (GREAT program, I highly suggest it) can make me feel like someone knows where I'm going on the internet, but I don't mind if God sees. Either I think He'll look away for a minute, or I take comfort in the fact that He doesn't scold me vocally (I wouldn't put it past Him though).

I'm doing alright being away from my wife - it's not easy, but don't read that into this post, it's not my point. My point is, we are held accountable, and it is a good thing.

Our God cares for us, and He'll be there WHEREVER we are (or go) to pick us up when we fall, to love us when we need love, and to remind us He's in control. We cannot (though it's absolutely beyond stupid that we try) to leave his presence.