Confessions (1 Tim 6:12-13, Heb 3:21, 4:14, 10:23)

"Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called and about which you made the good confession in the presence of many witnesses. I charge you in the presence of God, who gives life to all things, and of Christ Jesus, who in his testimony before Pontius Pilate made the good confession," - 1 Timothy 6:12-13

Augustine wrote this book. Apparently it was a pretty big seller.

I find that sometimes I deal with things I don't want to. I'm frustrated that when I conquer a sin another one rears it's head. Perhaps it has been there all along and I didn't notice. Perhaps I'm lead from one sin to another until they have all been conquered.

Unfortunately I find some more pleasant than others. Sexual sin is much more pleasant to deal with than anxiety. I'm not saying one is better than the other, but the former offers at least some temporal satisfaction. The latter is painful from beginning to end.
I've written on this before.

On conquering sexual sin (okay, who can say they've really conquered lust?) I discovered anxiety. A part of me wishes it never conquered the former, then perhaps I could have avoided the latter.

Why does God's plan mean walking the through the valley of death? It seems, if I were God, I would just solve people. Use a cheat code and make it all go away. But that's still cheating.

He's God, and He wins the battle by fighting it. Which sometimes makes me nutty.

If I want to be a man of God, I must take hold of his Kingdom. Forcefully. Which means giving up that which I don't want to. Conquering this sin, knowing the next one might be even worse. I must step out. I love this God. I love GOD. OUR GOD. He really is the only one worth worshiping. Because in the end He wins. Not us, not our sin, not our fear, not our pride, not US.


He wins. I confess. I am SO sinful. I want SO bad to be part of the victory party. To know I fought the battle. "Oh LORD I want to be in the number, when the saints go marching in." But will I be?

Alas, His death was sufficient. But is my will enough? No. Is His death sufficient? Yes, but will I choose correctly? Maybe today, but maybe not tomorrow.

Normally I leave poetry for the sieve, but today...

your loss
your gift
i cannot give
my weakness
your strength
i hope to someday understand
but knowing
who i am
what i give
and how broken
i am
your gift so much larger
than i hope
to ever give
to receive
have grace
like you do

so sorry
so sorry
so sorry

thank you for taking this
you knew the depth
of my sin
when you
to die
for me

so thankful
so thankful
so thankful

at best i can give
you this.
my life.
my all.
your grace.
my repentance.
your death.

thank you
thank you
thank you

"Therefore, holy brothers, you who share in a heavenly calling, consider Jesus, the apostle and high priest of our confession." - Hebrews 3:1

"Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession." - Hebrews 4:14

"Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful." - Hebrews 10:23