Grace, my inability to accept it (Hebrews 4:16)

"Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need." - Hebrews 4:16

I realized today how much I live my life without this grace. I know about grace. I believe in grace. But I live like I am the creator of my own salvation. I live like I alone can bail myself out of my sin.

But the Lord offers mercy; grace in my time of need. Instead I look to my own strength to solve my problems, and determine to "do better next time." I awake and think these things would go away if my quiet times were longer. If only I focused more on the scripture.

I've forgotten Hudson Taylor's reminders of constant abiding in the Lord. I don't have to work at it to be a citizen of the Kingdom, loved and looked out for by the King. I am a citizen, and now nothing I can do will change that.

I do have the opportunity to fight for the King (see this morning's post about being a violent man). And I should see it as a privilege in the same way I would love to play for the Denver Broncos. Except I'm already on this team. Fighting for this side. And I just keep running to the corner, thinking the Lord wont let me on the starting team unless I kiss up. But he's counted me worthy.

Lord I desire grace, to recognize your grace, to live your grace, to accept your grace, to rejoice in your grace.