theologer

"If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!" - Matthew 7:11

So I've definitely mentioned how I stress out when I fly. Today I took my last flight for probably close to six months. In itself this is reason for me to celebrate, but this morning I woke up and wigged out. I don't know why, the Lord always provides for me in such overwhelming ways.

My biggest concern was my luggage because we were coming back from furlough and had just had a baby we had LOADS of luggage. Also due to some complicated vacationing, I had to take all of the bags both my wife and I carried. So this morning my fear was overweight baggage. This may not be a big deal to you but just to give you some perspective, overweight bags cost around $100-$300 per bag (my wife once was asked to pay $1100 for one bag) and I had 3 more bags than I should have.

But the lady at the front counter had grace for me. It's a long complicated story but she figured out a way to work around the system so I could carry my absurd amount of baby stuff and books back home with me. When I had my boarding pass and my baggage was checked I walked away from the counter and teared up.

The part I don't understand is my shock. The Lord ALAYS gives me good gifts. I begged him for grace with my luggage and he gave me grace with my luggage and this is a HUGE deal to someone who stresses when they fly; not to mention the coin it saved me.

Now that I'm a dad I know what it is to want to give good gifts to my daughter (and I'm sure I'll understand quite a bit differently when she's grown up enough to say thanks and appreciate things). But how much more will our Father in heaven give us good gifts when we ask? The answer is "A LOT MORE."

I love that I worship a God who blesses me, and sometimes I just feel overwhelmed by the grace he's given. A wonderful, loving, beautiful wife. A precious, gorgeous, happy baby girl. A safe trip home. And free extra baggage to boot.

“He said to them, "But who do you say that I am?" Simon Peter replied, "You are the Christ, the Son of the living God.” - Matthew 16:15-16

I know that I could have this answer. In the same way I could take a test in High School or College and within a day have forgotten everything. At least, thats the way I live.

I'm just shocked that I can have this head knowledge and not live like it.

I don't want to be saying, "I'm not good enough, I'll never be enough," or even, "I don't spend enough time in the word." Because of what Jesus did, we are just downright saved, righteous, justified. The sanctified part is the process.

But as I look at my life recently, I don't live like someone who truly believes because I don't wake up and seek the Lord with my whole heart. If I really believed this, and REALLY believed it, then I would desire the Lord SO much more than I do. Why must I be so stinkin' incompetent.

The problem lies a lot in the fact that I have a new member in the family. When I first got married it took me about six months or so to get back into the groove of regular quiet times because it took me that long to realize that I cant be married and spend time in the word at night. I have to wake up early to make it happen. But now, the child wakes up REALLY early, and in order to have the house be quiet and be able to spend time with the Lord I have to wake up even earlier.

I have what it takes, and I want to do what it takes. I'm sick of treating Him like a friend who I don't really get along with... I want to seek Him out of an overflow and an understanding of the great pleasure it is spend time with the Christ, the Son of the living God.

In application of this, I'm going outside to get some time with the Lord. Hopefully when I finally return tomorrow (after almost 4 months away) my life will take on some regularity and I'll find a time where I can be alone with the Christ, the Son of the living God.

I've decided to take up Scripture Zealot's challenge, "If you had to select only five or six verses you would pray every morning which ones would they be?"

In keeping in line with my prayer topic, I followed with the ACTS model (Adoration, confession, thanksgiving, supplication). Here goes...

Adoration
"Praise the LORD!
Praise God in his sanctuary;
praise him in his mighty heavens!
Praise him for his mighty deeds;
praise him according to his excellent greatness!
Praise him with trumpet sound;
praise him with lute and harp!
Praise him with tambourine and dance;
praise him with strings and pipe!
Praise him with sounding cymbals;
praise him with loud clashing cymbals!
Let everything that has breath praise the LORD!
Praise the LORD!" - Psalm 150

Confession
"God, be merciful to me, a sinner!" - Luke 18:13

Thanksgiving
"The steps of a man are established by the LORD, when he delights in his way;  though he fall, he shall not be cast headlong, for the LORD upholds his hand." - Psalm 37:23-24
(This is one of the promises of scripture I am most thankful for)

Supplication
"Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven." - Matthew 6:10

Feel free to take up his challenge, I'm curious what ya'll would choose.

"But we will devote ourselves to prayer and to the ministry of the word." - Acts 6:4

"And whatever you ask in prayer, you will receive, if you have faith." - Matthew 21:22

"In these days he went out to the mountain to pray, and all night he continued in prayer to God." - Luke 6:12

About a year or so ago I remember having a talk with one of my best friends who is a pastor's son. The discussion was about prayer and how simply bad at it we are. We want to do it, we know we should, but we're just downright incompetent.

I work alongside a number of Koreans and I'm constantly struck by just how good at praying they are. They wake up regularly, they spend hours each day in prayer, they believe prayer is powerful and so they pursue it. I believe prayer is powerful, but I don't live like I do.

It's like I believe prayer is important, but when I sit down to pray I'm not really sure I actually believe that THESE prayers will be answered. I mean, God seems to have his own agenda sometimes right? And does that alight with mine? What about what I'm praying for?

Anyhow, I know I'm supposed to be seeking humility, and I want to do so through prayer and fasting. I've been better this last week or so about praying, but the sad thing is, by better I mean I've gone from basically none to about 5 minutes daily. There's always something else coming up, even if I wake up really early, the baby happens to get up to cry right when I'm ready. I cant seem to get into a habit...

But I'm working on it. I recognize it as important. God says our prayers will be answered, and Jesus modeled it by praying all night... Any suggestions on how to get in the groove?

"And after fasting forty days and forty nights, he was hungry." - Matthew 4:2

Today we talked a bit about this verse and all of verses 1-4. I have a really hard time processing this. I used to fast one day a week for 24 hours which ends up only being skipping breakfast and lunch but was still a good practice to be in. I had a mentor who encouraged me to do so.

Then about a year and half ago I did an extended fast. When I was done after 40 days of fasting I really expected God to show up in a powerful way. After all, most of my 3 days fasts ended with the Lord really showing up. But 40 days later I didn't hear hardly anything, just a faint "pride."

Who wants to hear "pride" at the end of 40 days? You could have told me that in a morning Bible study is my thought. But the truth is, if you look at my reasons for the 40 day fast, they were probably so that God could owe me something. Who knows. It's hard to have right motives about anything, but particularly about something like this.

Since then, I have attempted sort of a half-hearted self humbling, but not really pursued the issue I have with pride. Then last night I was reading something for class and it was talking about spiritual warfare and the strongholds the enemy can have related to pride. Specifically how difficult it is for the enemy to get to you when you humble yourself.

Then this morning this verse was brought up. I've always sort of assumed that some of the things I've been dealing with lately are related to my unwillingness to fast (its been a year and half now since I've even done a day long), and this sort of confirmed it. That said, I intend to get back into the habit. I know it humbles me. I know I was prideful.

And worst of all I know that my response to hearing that I need to work on my pride was to be prideful and grumpy with the Lord for not giving me something more "valuable." So I have some thinking to do. Some praying to do.

And I hate praying for humility.

God fasted for 40 days. And he was hungry. Yea, duh. But the point is, he understood what I was going through, and he gave me exactly what I needed to hear. Bummer tho. I'll get on that.

"Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few." - Matthew 7:13-14

I like that this verse is so straightforward. I think we remember this verse because we remember a wide and a narrow gate. We know those who take the wide gate are many, and those who take the narrow gate which leads to life are few.

I don't know about you, but I forget how the verse begins with direction spelled out nice and big, "Enter by the narrow gate."

Yea we know about the gates and where they lead, but do we head the application in the midst of the knowledge? I almost want to drill it into my head,

ENTER BY THE NARROW GATE
ENTER BY THE NARROW GATE
ENTER BY THE NARROW GATE

There is a narrow gate and go down that road you moron. Not the wide one, the narrow one. You know where they lead. Go down through the narrow gate, not the wide one.

"From the days of John the Baptist until now the kingdom of heaven has suffered violence, and the violent take it by force." - Matthew 11:12

Or, the kingdom of heaven forcefully advancing and forceful men take hold of it.

This is such a great verse just because it's so strange. But the more I read it, the clearer to me it becomes that I am called to be a violent man taking hold the kingdom of heaven.

If this really is THE battle for the kingdom, through powers and such that we cannot see, then how passive of a role am I playing? Every time I come across this verse I'm reminded just how weak my prayer life is, and how forceful it should be. I want to be a violent man, a forceful man, I want the Lord's enemies to be freaked out when I enter into battle with them.

To be so, I have to be a forceful man. A violent man. What does a violent man for the Lord look like? I suppose a person who gives, to churches, to missionaries, and then prays his head off for them to succeed. Prays for people, cities, countries, and the world to be saved. Prays for men and women and to turn to the Lord and for the powers of darkness to fail.

I want to pray like that. Nothing less than the world, and salvation for all of it. If we really believe this stuff why aren't we in the battle? Why aren't we practicing fighting? Why aren't we growing stronger and stronger from battle after battle?

Wake us up to our wimpyness. Lord make us violent fighters taking hold of your kingdom by force.

"Therefore, stay awake, for you do not know on what day your Lord is coming." Matthew 24:42

How do we take this to heart? I spoke maybe two weeks ago about the difficulty of living like the return of the Christ is imminent. But today I want to talk a bit about what we might be doing when the Lord comes.

Before I was married I tried to quietly hope the Lord wouldn't return before I had a chance to see what sex was like. I know, thats crude, but its true. Now that I have a child I actually sit and wonder about her growing up before the Lord returns. Part of me doesn't want to live like the Lord could return at any time because that seems like something only the wackos believe. The other part of me fears my not being able to see my child grow up. Or more frequently I think about this verse:

"And alas for women who are pregnant and for those who are nursing infants in those days!" - Verse 19 of the same chapter.

What if my wife is still nursing our infant? What sort of horrible thing will I have brought on my wife and child if I raise them during the tribulation? My eschatology here is vague which may be part of my fear, I tend to lead towards a-millennialism but these verses seem pretty clear it will be terrible for everyone.

The other thing I think about is what if, on the day the Christ returns, I'm in the middle of a good game of rugby? Or what if he returns just before the Broncos win the superbowl? Can I cope with that sort of thing? These things seriously bother me. How can I be awake? Do I want to be awake? Ideally I will be bored to tears and the Lord will return and it will be a sort of "saved by the bell" situation.

Am I alone in such musings?