Giving up a career in the mission field was hard. I had a lot of authority. And I gave it up.
Now I'm looking at a industry change, and then it's even harder. Some people can see past the ten years experience as a missionary on my resume, and many cannot. Especially in Colorado.
About six weeks ago I flew out to Denver and interviewed with four different companies. All four interviews went fantastic. But once I got an official "no" from one of them, I went from thinking "I'm the most awesome person in the whole world and everyone is going to want to hire me," to "Nobody likes me, everybody hates me, guess I'll go file for unemployment."
And really, it's not the rejection that's hardest about this process. It's the incessant roller-coaster of emotions. My back locks up from stress, relaxes with a glimmer of hope, and then goes right back to lockup.
It's shocking to me that it isn't everyone else's highest priority to give me a job.
It's mine. Why won't the world of high-paying-with-great-family-benefits corporations get on board?
And then there's the whole depending on God thing. Because I often just start to panic and assume He's given up on the search. I know He hasn't. But I still kind of think He has.