NOT the Great Commission

And The Association of Theological Schools (ATS) came and said to them, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to us. Go therefore and make scholars of all nations, baptizing them in the name of PhD's, teaching them to observe all that Gruder's Systematic Theology has commanded you. And behold, we are with you always, to the moment you graduate (for then you are officially qualified in God's eyes to enter the pulpit).

NO

And Jesus came and said to them, “Some of the authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all people groups (however you see best fit to define them), baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and then leave them in charge as fast as you can. And behold, I will appear to you immediately after you've done this, and I'll take you to heaven where you no longer will have such burdensome responsibilities.”

NO

And Jesus came and said to them, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore send your money to make converts of all nations, baptizing them if you get to it in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and conversion and baptism are probably good enough. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”

NO

And Jesus came and said to them, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and build ornately beautiful churches with stained glass windows, and seeker friendly churches in warehouses that serve coffee, and grow those churches to outrageous numbers, teaching people all about heaven, lolipops, and sunshine, don't worry about mentioning hell. And behold, people will be saved no matter what they believe.”

NO

And Jesus came and said to them, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”

YES!

I'm afraid I could have gone on forever, but you get the idea.